Fear is Okay

I am too afraid to start something
I am afraid to fail
I need approval
Being honest
Becoming…her
What do I like about her?

I feel low. Lower than low
I didn’t know words could be so heavy
Struggling to remain standing
What lifts you up and makes you happy?
I feel like I’m just standing here and life is happening
I think it’s been 5 minutes
It’s been two hours
I don’t have enough time to do anything

Open, honest, judges
An excuse to be blunt
Alone

The only reason I won’t do it,
Make the initial cut is because I know it will hurt too much
I don’t want this to be fucked up any more
My head is twisted, my mind is outside, lost
I’m looking in and there is nothing I trust
My identity is gone
My purpose…who am I?
My strength is limited right now
My ambition?
My goals and dreams fuzzy

Things need to change
I am too afraid to start something
I am afraid to fail
I do need approval, only my own
My identity can be discovered
My strength will build itself up… and me
Goals will come in focus
Meanings will change
Failure will happen
It will be okay
And I will become her

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Days and Nights

This is it
The beginning of the end
Then the start of something new
No one knows what is in store
She is scared
The unknown is a monster, at the very least
Can she keep it together
The days and nights are taken one at a time
No more planning ahead
Just a deep breath
Just a sense of happiness
A Push in a new direction
Her boys are her everything
They will be okay
She will be too
A lot of blaming
A lot hate, fear, and confusion
In the end though
Happiness will shine through

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