So I am that person who loves to do research and I Google EVERYTHING. So it is only natural that when I became a mother, I researched everything that has to do with babies and children and “how to be a mom”. I am the first to see a post and think, yes that is me or that is a good idea. I even run to my husband and say something like “I read today that we should try this with Oman (our oldest) when he does this…” (This drives him nuts sometimes). I love to research and try everything. If it wasn’t for Pinterest of Google, I am not sure what I would do. By researching everything, I try so hard to be a perfect mother and wife. What does that mean exactly? Well, I am not sure, but I have researched it. The other day I read the following post and I even shared it.
“Mommy will you lay with me?” – when your children want you to lie down with them at night November 18, 2014 By Becky (Your Modern Family) http://www.yourmodernfamily.com/mommy-will-lay/
Nothing against Becky and I TOTALLY understand what her intention are…But thanks for making me feel guilty. In fact I feel guilty a lot from what I read; No Yelling articles, No T.V. articles, How To Love Your Husband So He Doesn’t Leave You articles, What You Should Be Going In Your Marriage articles, How to be….articles. Yes, I can choose not to read these. Anyway I have a confession. Besides me doing all my reading and research, I don’t know what I am doing some days.
I lose my control. I feel guilty and I cry. Some days I cry more than my children. But I try to be a perfect mom and perfect wife. Froggy (my youngest) is going through a phase where mom and dad can’t be out of sight. This morning he laid on my bathroom floor screaming just so I could take a quick shower. Sorry, kiddo mommy was smelling a bit ripe.
I don’t think you will find that technique in any book or article. I try so hard to establish a loving and learning household. But… We watch TV and we yell and sometimes I would like to look at Facebook or Pinterest than read the same book for the 5th time. I want to sleep just ten minutes longer, even though I am needed (there is a really good post about being needed (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/megan-morton/mommy-somebody-needs-you_b_4900686.html)
And yes because of those articles I feel guilty. But… We are only human. I am trying and that is all I ask from my boys and my husband. We do have days full of arts and crafts and ABCs and 123s. And days full of imaginary play, forts and all. But on a Saturday, when I have worked so hard all week and my husband has too. We might have TV day. This doesn’t mean we don’t read books or we don’t play outside. Oh and we use the iPad. In fact, Oman loves it and we play games together, but he also plays it by himself. We also tell him it is okay to play by himself. This does not mean we don’t play with him though.
Is this all really wrong? I am trying to make my boys perfect little boys and then perfect little men and then perfect men.
Who knows what that means?
I really want my boys to grow up and be happy. I don’t want them to stress about anything (might be a high expectation). I want them to be kind and to listen and to communicate well. I want them to dream big and to just try to be all they can be. I want them to know they are loved and they can come to mom and dad for anything. I want my 3-year-old to be proud of himself, even if he refuses to go number 2 on the potty. I want him to know that he is so smart and creative. He can do anything, as long as he tries, but if he can’t do something, I want him to know he can ask for help. I want my husband to know he is not alone and we are a team. All we need to do is try to be a perfect parent team. Yes, we will fight and disagree, but we are doing it all together.
I want all moms (and dads) to know that being the perfect parent is the parent that tries. Just tell yourself every morning that all you have to do is try and it might all work out and be perfect, or it might not. Just try to be a mom (or dad). Just try to be a wife (or husband). Just try to also balance time for yourself too.
No one is perfect, but you can try to be.