Our job as parents is to raise kind, independent, smart, caring, responsible, confident (the positive adjectives can go on) children. We begin teaching our child the first time we make eye contact, the first time we touch them. We are teaching them how to respond, how to react, how to view things, how to talk and even how to feel. Almost any decision we make can impact them. As parents, we have the most important job in the world. It is a huge responsibility and one that gives me anxiety. I can’t believe how much influence I can have. They do not teach that in any parenting books, and no one warns you of the weight you will begin to carry once you become a parent.
It is 6:30 the alarm is going off I glance at my phone and forcing my brain not to think about the snooze button. I glance again. 6:30!!!! Crap! That is the time I get the boys up. What happened to my alarm that was set to go off a half hour earlier? I get dressed in a whirlwind of panic, and I instantly start barking orders as I go up stairs; “Get up,” “Get dressed,” “Brush your teeth,” “I expect this…:.
There are moans and groans, and there is yelling. Lots of yelling. “I asked you to get up. We are late; you need to listen”. The barking is nonstop. My oldest is starting to tune me out. I lecture about some nonsense about how I get it, I am late, but they need to listen, and they need to know better and blah blah blah. Maybe I tuned myself out. What is going on!?
Somehow we made it to school, and I get the boys settled in their classroom.I walk out to my car, and I cry. The tears just flow down my cheeks.
I was late. I am the one who overslept. I need to take responsibility for my actions. They don’t know. They don’t understand what being late really means. Yes, I can teach them but as I am running late; that is not the time. I can’t stop the tears and the feelings of being a bad parent. This is not how I wanted their day to start. This is not how I want their day to continue. They were tired, and so was I. Maybe they were trying so hard to get ready but like me, they just could not get moving.
I am already late. I look in my rearview mirror. I wipe my tears and decide to walk back into the school and act like I forgot something (well I did). I went to the youngest first “Mommy forgot to tell you I love you and you will have a good day.”
“I love you too mommy. You have a good day.”
My oldest, he was playing as I walked into his room. He first glanced at me with confuse and then “mommy are you okay?” Was he asking about me? Why? I knelt down to his level “Mommy forgot to slow down, and I forgot to tell you that I love you and you will have a great day.” His response as a 6 y/o who was around his friends and who wanted to play was a bashful quick kiss on my cheek, but I didn’t let him walk away. I stopped him and gave him a big hug, and I needed him to know today would okay. In that hug, I could tell he wanted to make sure I was going to be okay too. In that hug I had to reassure him that bad days do not need to last all day.
We forget about our important jobs sometimes but what is as important is that we take responsibility of our actions and understand what influences we have on others. We just want what is best for our kids and its okay to have bad days but how we respond to those bad days is very important. We have little eyes watching and little ears listening and little hearts that need to feel. Their brains are trying to comprehend the biggest ideas. We need to guide them and reassure them that bad days are okay but today can still be a good day.